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Autumn's Twilight

Collections of the leaves of life

DTFMA

Time to settle up with the truth.
Days gone by
The window of my browser
Molded and grew icky
Facing your page
Abandoned.

I’d bet in real life
you’re the sweetest man ever
always kind and considerate,
opening door and pulling out chairs,
changing helpless women’s flat tires.

I’d bet in real life
you’re confused as why your
girls all run and cry
getting upset with you.
You’re the perfect guy.

“All I did was try to help!”
“I gave her everything
and she repays me like this?”
Ignoring those times tears flowed,
ignoring those times when real pain showed.

Everything you do is tainted from the start.
Feed me! Feed me! all you do Feed me!
Admire me. Love me. Adore me. Worship me.
Do as I say. If you love me you’ll let me do
anything I want to do to you. Feed me! Feed me!

You think you’re such a nice guy. Helping people.
Scamming people. Loving people. Using people.
Opening hearts. Cracking souls. Power of positive thinking,
sorely misused, abused. Sometimes shit is shit.
No amount of poopoourie is gonna fix it.

Everything you know was brought to bear
on your desires as if it was for the greater good.
Ignoring consent as if it was a given. This was
no trolley experiment but you treat the world
as if you were the greater good.

Bet you think you’re the nice guy even still
and I’m just the bitter one.
Well, let me tell the truth,
you are sugar sweet and wrapped in truth,
but bitting deeper left poison on my teeth
’cause you’re rotten to the core.

And darling, I learned from the best
which just happened to be you.
Everything I’ve ever done
nothing more than a reflection
of your actions.
Just a mirror into your soul.

Time for me to smash this mirror
doesn’t fit me, never really did
I’m happy to give back the reins
and get off the Karma train.
I’m gonna take a shower and wash
all thoughts of you away.

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Keeper

He doesn’t write her love songs
and rarely brings home flowers.
He often to forgets to call her
and ask about her day.

Some would say he’s thoughtless
careless with her heart
yet they never see the tiny things
that doesn’t pull them apart.

He’s never forgotten how she likes her coffee
no matter how often she changes,
black, hazelnut, vanilla, Irish cream,
he knows her ways like he knows his own name.

She’s a tempest, blowing hot to cold
and through it all, he’s opened wide
those arm’s of his and wrapped her deep
for ‘hugs are always free.’

And late at night when no one sees
he takes her hand in his
to hold, to keep
and they both sleep a peaceful sleep.

 

©Isabella LeCour

Walk Onwards

When my days are lost and I find myself tossed
I seek a constant to anchor by
and in Nature’s grace, I find
the stars above and the wind blows
yet I know each day comes and goes
and tomorrow the sun rises and the sun sets
and by this Hope grows.

Number Stories of Long Ago

She holds in her hands a book older than her grandmother.
Nana might have even read it.
Inside the Author’s pen still stands,
an old testament to inkwells that ran dry.
Inside those hard covers comfort stolen bits of childhood
wrapped up in ten little stories
that’s lasted her a lifetime.
Ten nights of stories the burned in her dreams,
Ten nights of wonder that never ran out of steam,
Ten nights of pure imagination never dulled
and a lifetime of thanks you David Eugene Smith
that he’ll never hear
as she now openly starts a new ten nights
of stories and wonders true
that will spark and burn bright
in childhood’s firelight.

©Autumn Zephyr

Tapestries

I’m going to take the time we had
and all the memories made
both good and bad
and place it upon the spinning wheel
and out will come gold
and silver so bold
redeeming us both with forgiveness
clear and freedom each.
We’ve learned our lessons
now bound in gold and silver so bold.
I’ll thread the sunsets with gold
and silver streak the clouds
and in time, we’ll look up
and remember the cost it took
to make such precious gold and silver so bold
and know in our hearts, forgiveness was our
greatest gain.

©Autumn Zephyr

Letters To Albany, NY.

Hello again. It’s been a while since we talked.
I see you’ve moved on while I’ve been holding on.
Oh, do I hate being right.
I gave up without a fight. All’s lost, quite lost.

I’m happy for you, I tell myself, swallowing tears
that swim down my face. Why? I don’t know.
And you left her like you left me. Alone. In silence.

I felt you move. Left me tense, nervous, sending
wave after wave of protection, for I did not know.
I should be happy but I’m weeping.
She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know.

I will always miss the little boy inside of you,
the one who sang and was giddy when I told
you that I loved you.

I will miss the talks and the long late night
sleepy conversations and hearing your
soft snores. I will miss the moments that we shared.

Most of all, I will miss the dream that I bought
so dearly. Oh, I will miss the dream of us that
proved to be so delicate.

I wish you knew. Wish you knew how much
I’ve always been there, in the shadows, always
waiting, hoping, wishing for a smile.

I wish you knew I took it for real. Never a game,
this is my life, my soul. Never a game.
I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save you.
Now I must save myself.

Always a part of me you will be.
On these bones I will grow
On these bones I will build
I am strong. I will survive.

And I will love again.

I woke up missing a piece of my soul.

I woke up missing a piece of my soul.
Feeling just a ragged hole,
I looked and looked and looked for more,
anything to close that door.
No address of the thief,
not even a whisper of their feet,
but Oh, I know you who stole my soul.
I feel your mind touch and sway,
I feel the weight of the day,
the highs and lows all about,
and odd moments where you shout,
I respond without even a word or a look,
as my soul is somehow there because you took.
Maybe one day, you’ll find it an’ set it free,
but somehow I think it will never return to me.

Lock

good god, the world’s a mess
and here I am sitting in my nest.
I look to the right I look to the left
and all I can see is I’m not best.

If I was, I’d have never ran
nor beat my drum on the tram.
Tons of should of’s crowd me out
such is fate of this stubborn lout.

I found the chains inside of me
oh, how I weep without the key.
oh I’m a fool, oh yes a fool
famously as stubborn as a mule.

Is it need or is it want
or something more on this jaunt?
please let me beg, let me beg on my knees
to open me with your only key.

I am not there

The sting remains, clawing, tearing me apart
“I am not there” I whisper
Tears batter against the wind, the marks reappear
“I am not there” I whisper
Throat closes shut, choking as I gasp for breathe
“I am not there” I whisper
Light swims and twinkles fading into black
“I am not there” I whisper
Pain rings louder than my heartbeat, knowing I’m going to die
“I’m not there” I whisper
“I’m here in this now” I whisper curling my toes in the grass.

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